Protecting Kids on Social Media

Most parents are very involved with kids off-line, but not so much online,” says Sameer Hinduja, co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center.

More and more, though, this is where our kids spend their time, checking in, posting updates, snapping with friends, and sharing a minute-by-minute account of their lives.

The popularity of smartphones has made it worse. A survey by the Pew Research Center found that 24 percent of teenagers between 13 and 17 said they’re online “almost constantly.” Their activity of choice: social media.

Where does a parent turn to protect their kids? It’s not as clear-cut as when you were young, but you can still keep your child safe.

Defeating the cyberbullies

“There are so many ways you can cyberbully people,” says Jonathan Fast, a professor at Yeshiva University in New York City and author of Beyond Bullying. “You can do it anonymously. You can pretend to be the person. Or attack the person. It’s very difficult to track people down.”

And it’s a common problem. Pew found that 15 percent of all teenagers using social media have been targeted by “online meanness.”

If you suspect your child is getting bullied, first talk to him or her about the situation. Show that you’re supporting them and that they can come to you if something happens. Avoid getting angry or minimizing their feelings.

In some cases, you can take the issue to the school to inform an administrator. If the school has an anti-bullying policy, that might help address it. However, it only works if the aggressor goes to the same school, says Hinduja.

Social-media bullying is unique in that once one person attacks your child, others can quickly jump in. It can feel as if the entire school is on the bully’s side, which has a dramatic impact on a child because it’s difficult for them to turn away.

“Kids and teenagers in particular are so sensitive to social context,” says Fast. “They can’t stop looking at it.”

While a parent’s first move could be to remove the smartphone or computer, it’s not always that easy. Instead, turn to the social media sites and ask them for help in protecting your child from an aggressive classmate. Cyberbullying.org has a list of contacts that you can use to get help.

Maintaining an identity

Unfortunately, people your children know aren’t the only threats online. Others are looking for the opportunity to hack into your children’s accounts to create lasting damage. A hacker can steal your child’s information and use it to get loans or take out credit cards, which might lead to trouble years later if your kid’s credit score has been destroyed.

ConnectSafely.org, which offers advice on how to stay protected while using connected devices, says you should discuss the importance of passwords with your kids. That includes teaching them about what makes a strong password, such as not using the same one for every account.

The website also suggests making sure kids know not to share those passwords. That might be tempting for younger children as they chat with friends. But it can also ensure a bully doesn’t get their login credentials.

Finally, be careful what you share about your child on Instagram, Facebook, or other sites. If someone targets your child, he or she can gain valuable information from you.

If your child does become a victim of identity theft, report it to the Federal Trade Commission, which might be able to help minimize the damage.

Behaving appropriately

Many parents are concerned about their children becoming exposed to inappropriate content, but there are ways to keep it clean.

First, have a conversation, discussing what counts as inappropriate. Come to an agreement about what sites they can visit. Give them a list of websites they can check, but also lay the groundwork for parental control.

And that’s the next step. You can set up parental controls through your internet provider and on web browsers. Since your child probably logs on using many different tools — computer, smartphone, or tablet — make sure all devices have the parental controls set. Then monitor it. But make it clear that if your child sees something they wish they hadn’t, they can come to you to discuss.

It’s all about how you create a safe web experience without removing it from your child’s life. Remember, “technology is not to blame,” says Hinduja. “It stems from the root issues that kids have had to deal with from the beginning of time.”

It’s just how you manage it that’s different.

Don’t just keep your kids safe online — keep yourself safe, too! Check out our tips to protect your online information from hackers and identity thieves.